Anxiety Stricken...

Today is Saturday, September 6th. There were no updates on the 4th because I did not have the energy or want to do so. We all went into the Dr.'s office nervous and full of anxiety. It was a new doctor that was seeing us, as our doctor was out of town. We weren't treated like normal to begin with, since the whole staff was different that day. As the doctor prepared the ultrasound peice, the nurses in the back were figuring out how far a long I am. Before the doctor could confirm how far a long the fetus was, they agreed on 7 weeks exactly. The doctor was searching and taking photos and finally said, "Are you positive on that shes 7 weeks?" The nurses said, "Yes.", and he said, "Check again.". According to every IVF calendar online, and talking amongst others that transferred around the same time I did, I knew I was 7 weeks. He continued to state that the fetus is not where it should be at 7 weeks, and this is why he questioned. There was no heartbeat, and he stated by this time, we should really see it. He said that the sac is nice, and good to size, but what is inside of it, hes worried about. To him, it seemed as though, the fetus had just stopped growing.

He asked me to continue my medications, and come back to Albuquerque next Wednesday the 10th, and released me. That was it.

I called Stephanie from Simple surrogacy, our rock. And she said not to get too down, she said that in her surrogacy, her surrobaby was the same. She, herself had an ultrasound at 7 weeks, and no heartbeat was found. And they went back at 8.5 weeks, and there was! She said her surrobaby was just a late implanter. She also asked if the Doctor had ordered another beta. That answer was no.

After getting off the phone with her, I immediately called C and told her what Stephanie said. She had hope again, as did I. I told her about the beta, and she said that is weird, and she would be calling the office the following day, to see if they will fax me a request for blood work.

She called the next day, and spoke with one of the nurses that has been with C throughout her infertility. She agreed that it was weird there was no beta ordered, and faxed one. She pulled my file, and looked for C, at the doctors writings and the ultrasound. She also said there was not much hope, but some. She said she has seen some in our situation, and it turns out great. She also said that she has seen some in worse positions and has turned out great also, but not many. So, again, I am a little down.

I went to my surrogacy forums and searched everything about heartbeat, and this link is what I found that made my spirits higher. When did you see the heartbeat?

So, Monday I will be getting my blood drawn for my 3rd beta. I'm unsure of what the number would be if the fetus is still alive, I should prob. research that. But, no matter what, Wednesday, I'll be in Albuquerque again, with our normal doctor.

Wish us luck. Theres nothing anyone can do now, that we haven't already been doing. Its up to the Big Man from here on out...

Here are some ultrasound photos:

These are the 2 Six Day Old Embryos.

This was immediately following the trasnfer on August 6th. Shows where the 2 embryos were implanted.

This was September 4th. Shows the sac. And something very tiny inside of it.